It started around three years ago—I don’t know the exact day, and honestly, it’s not even important.
She came to visit me, and we spent a few days together. At the time, I lived in St. John’s Wood in a tiny apartment. I loved it, and she loved it too!
Having Mum all to myself for a few days was heaven.
Having two siblings means you have to share your parents’ love. I think that’s one of the first things we learn in life—how to share our parents’ love.
To be honest, I hated sharing it. I got jealous, especially when I saw Mum giving her love to my siblings.
There was a time when I thought she loved them more than she loved me. But she didn’t.
We’re all different, and she loves us differently.
I understand that now, but it took me 40 years to figure it out.
I’m writing this for my own sake, hoping it might help me come to terms with the fact that I am losing my mum. I’ve only just started, so I don’t know if it will help yet.
I have to say, I never in a million years thought this would happen to me. It always happens to someone else. It’s sad, but it’s life—death is part of it. That’s what I used to think. It is part of life, but nobody can make you ready for it.
Unfortunately, we will all go through this. It’s part of the game.
As I said before, this is for me and for anyone else who is going through the same thing—I am so, so sorry if you are.
If you don’t feel like this is for you, then close this page and move on. But please, keep your negative thoughts, comments, and opinions to yourself. I’m not interested.